Dear Coleen

I am a woman in my twenties and have recently started seeing someone. While he is attractive and interesting, his level of enthusiasm is overwhelming me. This kind of attention so early in a relationship is new to me, as my past dating experiences involved uncertainty about the other person’s feelings.

We have already spent a weekend together, met his colleagues, parents, sister, and even his pet dog. Additionally, constant texting from him adds to the intensity. Despite my friends’ positive opinions of him based on brief interactions, I find myself conflicted.

I am unsure whether my concerns are valid or if I am being unappreciative. I feel the need to suggest slowing down the pace to regain some personal space for reflection. While I value his feelings, I also require time to process my emotions. Balancing my need for independence with the potential of a promising connection is challenging.

Coleen says

Given the rapid progression of your relationship, it is natural to feel overwhelmed. Instead of ending things abruptly, consider communicating your feelings openly with him. Express your enjoyment of his company but mention the need for a slower pace to accommodate your comfort level. Assess his reaction and willingness to give you space, which can indicate his maturity.

If you envision a future with him, do not hesitate to share your thoughts honestly. Establishing a foundation of transparency and sincerity early on is vital for a healthy relationship.

Maintaining a balance of longing and maintaining a sense of mystery in the relationship is beneficial. Appreciating each other’s absence and preserving the element of intrigue can enhance the connection. Avoid taking each other for granted and strive to keep the spark alive.

Comparing his genuine interest in you to past partners’ commitment issues may help put things into perspective. If the relationship feels intense, consider slowing down to find a comfortable rhythm that works for both of you.